Mexican elites y los gringos

So, I am in Mexico studying and I am molestada con algo...
I looked forward to being in Mexico - on my turf in a way - after being a second class citizen in grad school in the U.S. - In law/grad school in the U.S., we Chicanas/Mexicanas have to deal with arrogant Whites that look down on us and think we don't deserve to be in law school - assume we got in on affirmative action while ignoring the White privilege and class privilege that got them in - so anyway, I thought in Mexico I wouldn't have to live under this but it turns out that in Mexico - we are third class citizens. The Mexican elite and gringo professors that run the programs made sure to let us know that we Mexican-Americans have the lowest place in the hierarchy. The Mexican elites and their gringo counterparts chum it up and have let us know that in Mexico "people of Mexican heritage from the US are seen as traitors" and we are resented for supposedly "trying to tell them how to do things" - wait! isn't that the ugly american (anglo) that travels abroad and tells others how they should live? Other Chicana students told me their lack of knowledge of the area or pocha spanish is responded to with "que pena!" The anglo students haven't been pointed out in these ways - why are they pointing us out this way? Why are the US anglo professors able to put us in this 3rd class citizen level within our group and get away with it just cuz we are in Mexico? Then they take off to fancy dinners with the Mexican elites.

This trip was supposed to be a meaningful experience for me and my family because my mother left her pueblo in shame and struggled so - now I was able to come back here and represent my family with honor and some level of achievement - but none of that matters or is recognized because the elites here look down on us and don't care to take the time to see us beyond third class citizens - they treat us with contempt and have no interest in lowering themselves to know us - Mexicans from the U.S.
Perhaps... the lesson is that while my mother taught be to be so concerned with returning to Mexico and gaining respect for our family... now I can ask why? why care so much about these arrogant elitist mean spirited people? why should we care what these people think? I am not going to put in any effort to try to convince them of anything - let them think of us as poor and lower class etc... this family complejo stops here with me. I don't want to be a part of their world - the world my mother aspired to belong to. It just bothers me that the anglo students that already looked down on us at our home schools in the US now see that even Mexicans look down on us. Their own racism seems more okay to them - since we have noone to defend us - shouldn't they have come to Mexico and seen all of the wonderful things about our Mexicaness?? Wasn't this an opportunity for them to see us in a different light? Mexicanos here could have received us differently and given us some credibility and respect in front of our US counterparts - instead they showed them that we are despised here to - and receive less respect than any one else in our program. what a disappointment.

Como Calcular Tu Tonalli - by Citlalin

Thanks again to Tonalpohqui Citlalin Xochime

HOW TO: Determine your TONALLI
Determining your Tonalli If you are interested in calculating your Tonalli or "Aztec Sign," follow the 13 steps and read the resources listed below to figure it out:1. Visit the following Webpage: http://www.uaq.mx/ingenieria/publicaciones/calendarios/2. Enter the Year born in the year field: Año: 3. Enter the Month born in the month field: mes:4. Enter the Day born in the day field: día:5. Click calcula or 'calculate' 6. A page similar to the screen capture below appears:http://nahuatl.info/images/3acatl_9cozcacuauhtli_copy.jpg7. In the lower left side of the results, notice the Year Bearer or Año that you were born. For example, the Year Bearer in the screen capture above is Yei Acatl or '3 Reed'Each year of the Xiuhpohualli or 'solar year count' of the Aztec Calendar represents one of four possible Year Bearers or glyphs that define a given year and a time period of the Earth's daily axial rotation as summarized in Table 1 below:Table 1. Year Bearers and Representations, in Nahuatl and Translated.
..>
Nahuatl Year Bearer &Translation
Nahuatl Representation & Translation
Calli 'house'
yohualnepantla 'at midnight; midnight'
Tochtli 'rabbit'
tlanezi 'morning'
Acatl 'reed'
tlacotonalli 'midday; daytime'
Tecpatl 'flintstone'
teotlac 'afternoon, evening'..>(Campbell 1997; Karttunen 1992)Thus, each year begins at different, daily time periods of the Earth's axial rotation. For example, the Year 2005 is "Year 6 House," meaning all daily cycles begin at nighttime. The Year 2006 is "Year 7 Rabbit," meaning all daily cycles begin in the morning. Year 2007 (beginning March 12) will be "Year 8 Reed," with all daily cycles beginning at midday; while Year 2008 will be "Year 9 Flintstone," with all daily cycles beginning in the evening. These Year Bearers (Calli, Tochtli, Acatl, and Tecpatl) also have counts from 1-13 because the number 13 is a sacred number in the Tonalpohualli or the 'Sacred Aztec Calendar.' So, this explains why year Yei Acatl or '3 Reed' has a count. See this Webpage for more information on what the numbers 1-13 mean:http://web.nmsu.edu/~citlalin/anahuac/lesson1.htm 8. Now that you have determined your Year Bearer and count (1-13) based on the earlier calculation, you can determine your Tonalli or 'Aztec Day Sign.' Let's refer to the previous image again:..fo/images/3acatl_9cozcacuauhtli_copy.jpg">http://nahuatl.info/images/3acatl_9cozcacuauhtli_copy.jpg 9. Notice your Gregorian birth date; or, in the example above, the number 21 is my birth date. I was born approximately at 4:00 a.m. EST on January 21st in the Gregorian calendar. However, my Year Bearer is Acatl or Reed and during Year Reed, all days begin at midday. Since I was born before the start of January 21st (midday during Year Acatl), I must use the previous Gregorian date of January 20th to correctly configure my Tonalli. See the image below, for the correction:http://nahuatl.info/images/3acatl_8cuauhtli_copy.jpg So, my corrected Tonalli or Aztec Day Sign is Chicuei Cuauhtli or 8 Eagle as shown in the screen capture above.
10. Now, based on what you have learned by following these steps, you can correctly configure your "corrected" Gregorian birth date. For example, if you were born at 11:00 p.m. during the Year Tecpatl on August 10th, when all days begin in the evening, then your Gregorian birth date is correctly correlated. However, if you were born on August 10th around 2:00 p.m. during the Year Tecpatl, when all days do not begin until the evening, then you must correct the Gregorian date and reconfigure your Gregorian birth date, which will be August 9th rather than August 10th.11. Once you figure your correct Gregorian birth date, go back to Steps 1-5 and repeat them to determine your correct Tonalli. 12. Extra step: visit http://web.nmsu.edu/~citlalin/anahuac/calendar.htm, to learn more about the daily and sacred calendars of the Tonalmachiotl or "Aztec Calendar."13. Also: A Tonalpohqui or a 'Calendar Consultant' can inform you about the meaning of your Year Bearer and the significance of your Tonalli. There are also a number of publications from Mexico that provide details. I will post some of the interpretations from these publications when I have more time.So for now, you should at least be able to identify your Tonalli.

Citlalin's work - Anahuac/Aztec calendar

go to Citlalin's site to see her work with Anahuac/Aztec calendar


http://web.nmsu.edu/~citlalin/anahuac/calendar.htm

Citlalin's Free name Change Kit for Mexicans with slave names

just wanted to share some of Citlalin's stuff.
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=11932450&blogID=262211156

Citlalin's FREE Name Change kit for Mexicans with Hispanic Slave Names Current mood: energetic
FREE Name Change kit for Mexicans with Hispanic Slave NamesCheck out this listing (below) of Hispanic slave names. The list is from the book 500 AÑos Fregados pero Cristianos '500 Difficult but Christian Years.' The book records slave master holds on the land and as well as his Mexican slaves. Brown people were branded with European slave names in the same manner that Blacks got White European slaver names because slavers treated us as their possessions! Slavers developed a number of tactics to brand us with their names, including the enforcement of the brutal Encomienda system of slavery, as well as sweeping Christian conversions and Confirmation naming ceremonies.
One clue to this unspoken history of enslavement is the clear lack of diversity in our Brown peoples' last names. This lack of diversity screams of slavery because only a handful of wealthy land and ranch owners got to own slaves. That's why we all got a few repetitive, uncreative names like Hernandez, Fernandez, and Gonzales in the same manner that Blacks just got branded by a few slavers' names like Jones, Washington, and Johnson. Think about it!! It does not take rocket science to figure out where our Hispanic names come from. Check the list below…
Also, GET your FREE Name Change KIT NOW & quit being a pawn in the Old World Order of branding and enslaving Brown and Blacks as the possessions of the Whites!
click below:Citlalin's FREE Name Change Kit
Free kit and research are the compliments of Citlalin Xochime'500 AÑos Fregados pero Cristianos SLAVE & SLAVEMASTER LIST

new to blogs

wow! I never even looked at the blogs that are out there until I decided to add a list of blogs here! amazing! Forgive me if this humble little blog seems a waste of time in comparison to the incredible blogs maintained out there. This is an interesting adventure and I am really enjoying reading some of the thought provoking and creative blogs out there. Bravo to those bloggers!

cuidado! tengo picas como el nopal!

cuidado! tengo picas!

So I today I had lunch with a woman I know from the legal community. We had to clear some things up and in the process we discussed how difficult it is for some White middle class feminists (who want to work with women of color) to actually deal with us and be friends with some women of color. She finds my form of expressing myself to be too confrontational and we described me as "prickly". We talked about how some White women express themselves as victimized and cry openly and then get their needs met - while some of us have learned to "handle our shit" "aguantalo!" "suck it up" etc... and some - like me may express hurt in a way that seems angry. Well, when I am angry - I tell you to your face and I don't hide it behind passive aggressive White middle class politeness and manipulation.
It turns out that when I am expressing my feelings to some White middle class women they see me as some kind of scary shank wielding chola gone mad. What???!!! This particular woman was actually open to listening and learning and I truly appreciate her honesty because most White women respond by spiraling into complete denial and will deny any racism on their part -to the grave. Anyway, it just bothers me that so many women of color don't get their needs met by White women that are the gatekeepers of so many of our social institutions. White women that work as teachers, social workers, lawyers etc... make judgments about what resources and services we will receive - will we get into the battered women's shelter? will we get medical care? an education? etc... they decide - and if we seem too prickly, angry, proud, defiant, difficult.. well.. chances are they won't be willing to meet your needs.
There was a White woman at school who had a relationship that was becoming violent... she cried on everyone's shoulders and we alll tried to help her. I gave her my ear, my survivor stories, hugs, etc... In the end, she left the guy - still stayed on honor roll and hopped on a plane (her dad has his own pilot) for a fabulous vacation with her wealthy family. So... what happened to the women of color who gave their time and energy to help her out? We didn't all make honor roll, we still had bills and financial problems, legal problems, immigration problems, kids to feed, no insurance, etc...
I realize that my toghness - this mestiza saphire - chacha toughness sometimes doesn't serve me well. I don't always get my needs met and being tough wears me down. I don't weep weakly and publicly on the shoulders of the feminists at school. I won't. I have to get up every day and put one foot in front of the other and be strong for me, my kids, and to avoid giving up and drinking like other women in my family. I don't have that luxury. Besides the fact that I can't ask for support when I need it cuz I have to be chingona y aguantarlo... there is the problem with those that see us as prickly angry unapproachable etc... They characterize us as these dangerous angry brown women and don't attempt to get past that and understand why we have to be strong - what we must bear. White feminists always try to recruit us to support their campaigns, projects, organizations, elections. They need to display their brown female supporters. We give our energy, time, etc... to these projects and in the end we give and give to just lift them up - more accalades and applause for their multicultural organizing skills! and us? what do we get? do they support our runs for office? do they support our projects or fight for our interests? do they work to ensure our equal protection, safety, economic security, our children's health, our success? our survival? do they even know how to try to listen to a sister in pain and offer the support of an embrace? or are we too prickly?

para empezar...

just beginning... not sure where this will go or if I will get too busy to continue.
My experiences living in this mestiza body in this colonial context have taught me the importance of expressing my heart but also the danger in doing so. As I have moved from being a waitress, to a performance artist, to activist, to student, to educator, to law student and now changing into a new combination of all of these things... I have found that I have had to twist and turn, sometimes distorting my body and mind to negotiate the colonial battlefields of education and law. My experiences have taught me that it is dangerous in the borderlands where I exist. It is beautiful, joyous, and painful at the same time. I have found that in my efforts to move through this hostile territory I constantly have to make decisions about how to survive here. Do I speak out from my heart? What is at risk? Long ago I dedicated myself to working for social justice through transformational & libratory approaches. This artist turned teacher & almost lawyer still speaks from the heart but I have found that the spaces that I move in now - law & higher education are spaces where my feelings and perspectives - my heart and my transformational methods are not valued. I wonder how other mestizas are managing in these hostile environments. I thought that this could be a space where we could speak our hearts with courage and strength. I believe that this was the way of our people before colonization and that to avoid the becoming tools of the colonizer we must be reflexive and self-critical. Our pedagogy should have a conscience & consciousness. That conscience comes from our hearts. We must remain in touch with our hearts and use the power of our hearts in our praxis.

The idea of In Ixtli In Yollotl seems like an appropriate place to start.

"The phrase "face and heart," often encountered in Nahuatl texts, carries a complex metaphoric meaning based on the conception of the beating heart (yollotl , derived from the same root as ollin , meaning movement) as the symbol of the dynamic center of the person, and the face (ixe or ixtli , not simply the physical face visible to others) as expressive of his being in the deepest sense. The physical face, therefore, had the metaphoric potential to signify one's true face by manifesting those characteristics that made him "whole," that is, unique and well integrated, as a result of the transformative process by which the outer appearance came to reflect the inner, spiritual being. When this integration had been achieved, a person was said to have a "deified heart" and to be "master of himself." It is no wonder, then, that an important goal of Aztec education was to teach a person to create such a "deified heart," thus enabling him to develop his innate spiritual potential by becoming "one who divines things with his heart,"[55] one who infuses ordinary experience with spiritual energy. Precisely, of course, the task of the artist.
It would follow that, as León-Portilla puts it, "if the good artist is master of himself and possesses a face and a heart, he will be able to achieve what is the proper end of art: 'to humanize the desires of the people,' that is, to help others to understand things human and divine, and to behave in a truly human way."[56] Behaving in such a way would be the result of understanding one's essentially spiritual nature and allowing that nature to express itself in the world of space and time, thereby transforming the material world into spirit. Thus, the Aztec poet, like his predecessors in the earlier cultures of Mesoamerica, was the messenger of the spirit, the transformer who had himself been transformed:
God has sent me as a messenger.I am transformed into a poem.[57]
That transformation can stand as a symbol here for the entire effort of Mesoamerican spiritual thought—to embody in a system of metaphors the various ways in which the ground of all being manifested itself through transformation as the earth and the heavens and all they contained. This magnificent system of metaphors, far more complex than we have been able to suggest here, reveals clearly that for Mesoamerica all of reality—inner and outer, microcosmic and macrocosmic, natural and supernatural, earthly, subterranean, and celestial—formed one system, a system whose existence betrayed itself in the order that could be found behind the apparent chaos of the world of nature. "

See: Manifestation: Transforming the Life Force at...
http://content.cdlib.org/xtf/view?docId=ft7x0nb536&doc.view=content&chunk.id=d0e5448&toc.depth=1&anchor.id=0&brand=eschol